The Lighter Side of Lifting
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The new apprentice swaggered into the foreman's office and announced that he was ready for any task.

Intending to take "junior" down a notch the foreman raised his voice and asked, "Can you carry a wheelbarrow full of smoke?"

The apprentice responded proudly, "I can if you can fill it, sir!"

A plumber named Mark was installing fixtures on the second story of a new apartment building. While working by an open window he heard someone yelling from the ground, "Mark, Mark!"

Not being able to see anyone, he went downstairs and across the lot to the construction shack to investigate. No one knew of anyone calling him, so back to work he went.

About 10 minutes later he again heard, "Mark, Mark!"

He looked out the window, but still couldn’t see anyone calling him. Thinking is must be important, he went outside to look, but just as before, no one was there. He began his trek back up to the second floor, but stopped when he got an idea. He hid in the lower stairwell so he could respond quickly when he heard the call.

Sure enough, after a few minutes he again heard, "Mark, Mark!"

As he darted from the stairwell he realized the sound was coming from the trash dumpster only a few yards away. The dumpster was empty, but he quickly ran around to look behind it. There he found the culprit lying in the shade of the big blue trash bin.

"Mark, Mark!" yelped the old hare-lipped guard dog.

True Conversations

CALLER: I have a beam I'd like to you to lift.
DISPATCHER: How heavy is the beam?
CALLER: It's lighter than water because it floats.

CALLER: How early can you be at my job?
DISPATCHER: 6 a.m.
CALLER: That's too early, I'll call someone else.

CALLER: You should see these plans -- we're digging a trench close to where the crane has to set up.
DISPATCHER: Do you have a fax machine?
CALLER: Nah, we're just going to use a backhoe.

One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.