A Crane Dispatcher’s Plight

I’m a crane dispatcher.
I enjoy my job it’s true.
I understand most customers,
I’m baffled by a few.

When a customer calls me on the phone,
And wants to get a price,
I ascertain the size of crane,
And try to be precise.

Now the pertinent information
Is often hard to glean.
My customers sometimes forget
There’s more than one machine.

A caller may say,"I need a crane --
I think I need a normal size.
It’s heavier than the one last year;
It’s pretty far, but not too high."

Well, point by point, I’d like to say,
That’s not much information.
If maybe we could clarify
To make a determination.

What is meant by "normal size?"
I’m reminded of the flea.
What is tiny to an elephant
Fits him quite comfortably.

What’s "heavier than the one last year?"
I guess I should remember.
We’ve only done three thousand jobs,
Perhaps since last November.

And just how far is "pretty far?"
I guess I could compare it
To the distance of migration flights
Of South American parrots.

And then just what is"not too high?"
I really ought to know.
Much lower than a cloud is high,
But higher than my toe is low?

I really like our customers,
But in these situations
I certainly could help out much more
With better information.

My job would be much easier
If callers would simply state
Some basic information like:
The height, the reach and weight!